What I long for

I was thinking about love yesterday and I realized something.; I don't want for anything, I don't long for anything, I don't crave anything... except love.

Don't get me wrong, there are things that I see and say "that would be nice to have," but there is nothing that I absolutly would die without.

I would like to have a 2008 mustang; but its impractical in my life right now, and not a cost I can afford or justify; so I am fine without it. I don't live each day saddened by not having a mustang, I accept what I have and get on with my life.

I have a nice house; I would like to make improvements on it, but what I do have is a lot better than most people and I feel blessed to have it. I don't sit in my house miserable; suffering because it is a hellhole.

I'm not completely happy with my physic; but I'm not horrible to look at; and a gym membership just doesn't fit into my time or budget right now and I realize that isn't a life demanding thing, just a vanity thing, and I can accept who I am on the outside.

There aren't any material things that I can't live without and most things seem frivilous to me; I'm really of the mindset that if it isn't something I must have to accomplish something, then it really isn't worth the bother.

I still buy somethings here and there, but overall, "things" just aren't making a difference in my life.

I have great friends; not alot, but the few that I have are really good to me and I couldn't ask for better people.

I do sometimes wonder what it would be like to have friends who go out and hang out all the time; but my work and my responsibilities to my girls tend to make it so I don't have the time (or money) to go out anyway.

I don't regret being the responsible father, sacrificing my time for my girls; their laughter is one of the few things that really gives me a happy feeling.

But nothing else really makes me happy. Everything else that I think I want, even briefly, just doesn't excite me at all.

My daughters love me; they are happy here with what I have given them and what I provide them, they are growing up happy and healthy so I feel good about that.

The only thing I want is someone to love me as I would love that person; as I love my children; unconditionally, will all my heart and all my soul. I want someone to hold, and to make smile, to hear laugh and to make happy.

I don't know why that is all I think about, and when I do it is what I long for, the one thing that when I think about it I can't dismiss it as frivolous or unnecessary.

What am I doing wrong that causes love to allude me all the time? What am I missing?